All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
