I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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