I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
