Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
