You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize