So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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