Someone shit on the floor
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
