Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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