Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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