is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
40s are totally the cure
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
