When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
