i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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