He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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