yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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