She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
