And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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