Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Say something about gay babies.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize