i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
