Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize