Where are you?
In a non slutty way
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
