You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
