on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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