holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
