he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Also, beer. Big fan.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
40s are totally the cure
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize