I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
