Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
