No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
Randomize
