its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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