Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
