at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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