She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
