life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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