Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Randomize
