thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
North Korea, Best Korea!
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
