Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
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