You're completely useless in the revolution.
dude i'm inner monologue high
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
