People in love make me want to vomit
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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