She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
