Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
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