Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
