The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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