If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
