i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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