TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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