1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
