I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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