I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize