wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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