Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
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