Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
