i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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