You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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