Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Anal astronaut?

(847): View more from Illinois

Wow word travels fast.

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(561): View more from Florida

i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year

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(845): View more from New York

They were actually really boring considering how we met them.

(1-845): View more from New York

howd you meet them?

(845): View more from New York

They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.

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(801): View more from Utah

Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"

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(816): View more from Missouri

sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.

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(630): View more from Illinois

if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it

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