I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
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