For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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