ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
