Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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