I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You pole danced in your parka.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
