Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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