doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
