If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
