420 ftw
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
