This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
