Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
